Once upon a time there was a novice chicken farmer. (Enter: ME)
She had always dreamed of having her own backyard flock....For eggs.... And, just for kicks.
So, with the help of her handy husband, they converted the old dog lot and dog house into a lovely place to house a few “lady birds”.
She had decided ahead of time that 3 chickens should produce MORE than enough eggs for her and her husband AND even have enough to share with some friends and family. But, in her excitement and caught-in-the-moment-ness at the first farm where she found her girls at, she ended up bringing home 5 instead. They were 9 week old Brown Leghorn Pullets. And they would lay white eggs.
(ENTER: Ethel, Lucy, Laverne, Shirley, and Queen Latifa)
She got them home and introduced them to their new home. She was so excited.
However, in all her excitement about her new chicken venture, she decided that JUST white eggs would be boring and began reading about different chicken breeds that would lay different colored eggs. (Enter: Easter Egger chickens...they lay blue and green)
She immediately wanted some and began looking.
WaLA! As if the good Lord was watching out for this one tiny request of hers, around the time of her birthday, she found some “blue layers” on craigslist and went and purchased for herself three 15 week old “Easter Egger” pullets.
(ENTER: Clucky, Tiny, and Princess Fiona)
The summer was coming to a close and the girls were growing nicely.
She would notice however, upon visiting the coop, that Clucky was becoming abnormally large....really fast....and had nice bushy sideburns and tail feathers. But since Clucky was her favorite because of her nice demeanor, she didn’t think too hard or long about the size.
One morning, while getting ready for work, the novice chicken farmer girl heard, what sounded like, a puberty stricken rooster attempting to cock-a-doodle-doo. She flew out of the bathroom where her husband proceeded to agree with her that he thinks we have a “Cross dressing” hen in the hen house.
Her heart sank as she knew who it was immediately. Clucky. When she looked out the window to see who was cawing, she defiantly saw that Clucky was indeed not a SHE, but a HE.
She tried not to think about it but over the next few days, Clucky’s voice became louder and louder, earlier and earlier....for much longer periods of time in the morning.
The novice farmer decided it was time for Clucky to leave the coop. especially before the eggs would start rolling in and the neighbors start complaining about the new unwanted neighborhood alarm clock.
So she put an add on craigslist for a free rooster. Within hours, Clucky had a new home.
The other girls must have “felt” the chicken farmer’s sadness and decided it would be nice of them to leave the farmer a present to console her heartbroken soul.
THUS I give you.....
MY FIRST EGG!!!!!
2 comments:
As the proud "parents", "grandparents", "landowners" of a fresh farm egg, what will you do with it? Surely not eat it! Bronze it? Superglue it to the chicken coop to inspire more eggs? We are proud of our brood of hens. May they all be inspired by this first egg. And we are awefull sorry about Clunky's confused sexualtiy.
Oh the precious little egg! Need I say more?
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