Making Margins in my Life

Oh sweet gym membership how I have missed thee.

That’s right. I got sick of it. And just did it.

Lately I have been feeling.... gross... about myself and my body. None of my clothes feel right. I am tired all the time. And it has been “showing itself” via crankiness and moodiness...I was finding myself feeling very irritable most of the time....and poor Wes... I just wasn’t able to really articulate what I was feeling...so it would come out in other ways...I knew what was really going on, but I couldn’t really put it into explainable words for him to “get it”. But I knew...and the Lord knew. God and I would have conversations about it. I have always struggled with body image my whole life. It is a battle most women deal with to some extent. For me, it has always been a huge mental one and there have been many moments in my life where it rears its ugly head.

The only way to deal with it is to face it. So, about a year before I met my wonderful husband, as body image was plaguing me again, I found that fighting back was the only way to overcome. And so, I found the joy in my first ever gym membership. I was single and had nothing better to do in the evenings than to work out at the gym. So I started going....and LOVED it. I was there most every day.

But then came the series of events that led me to let my gym member ship go...I had to get my wisdom teeth out which caused me a few weeks off at the gym. Next I went away to Australia for a few weeks...Upon my return I met my husband and well...the gym membership ran out....and I didn’t renew it because I, all of a sudden had better things to do in the evenings and was feeling really good about myself. 

That was about 4 years ago.

Exercise is important. It is necessary to take care of your body. And I have not done it. Or at least, I have not been diligent with it.
Now, I have tried working out at home. Running outside. Walking every day. But....I have finally been able to convince myself and Wes that I just am NOT that person.

At home I find that every time I start on the bike or treadmill, the zillion things I NEED to be doing (like the laundry) are literally staring me in the face and haunting me to the point I get off, make the excuse, and stop.

I set my alarm every day for the last two weeks to get up and simply run to the end of our road and back and every day, I pushed snooze. The thought of it just didn’t excite me. I knew I would feel better if I did it, but I just couldn’t get myself mentally there.

After finally getting fed up with myself and all my excuses, and discussing it with Wes, and reviewing several gyms in the area, and praying about it; I made my decision to join again. It was the only thing I could ever remember that worked for me or that I was diligent with when it came to exercise.
I decided upon Cheshire. For several reasons. It only takes three min from my doorstep to theirs. So no excuses for NOT being able to go. There are lots of fun classes. There is a pool, hot tub, and sauna. It is a very NICE, non ‘meat market’ type gym.
And it is reasonably priced.

I could feel myself getting excited when I walked in on Monday to join. I simply LOVE the gym. It is weird. I love the people, the cardio machines, the weights, the classes...it makes me motivated just being there.

And I believe even the Lord was smiling down on this as he slapped me a giant “high five” when I went to sign up. Let me explain.

While I had the money to pay the $75 one time initiation fee PLUS the first month, I just so happened to hit Cheshire while they were running a special for the month of September. (I had no idea they were doing this)
The day (number) you join Cheshire in Sept is the amount of initiation fee you will pay.
That’s right; I only ended up having to pay $1 for my one time initiation fee.
I mean, that had to be the Lord, right?

So because I was there on Monday, and Sept didn’t start until Wed....I wasn’t able to start going until Wed. But that actually was a good thing. It gave me a few days to rev myself up even more. I have been craving a change in my physical routine and a fresh start. No better day to start on than the 1st of the month.

A friend of mine told me to go and get a few new pieces of workout clothing. The cuter you feel, the more you will stay motivated to go. Totally made sense to me. And totally has worked for me. (Thanks Amanda)

My goal is to go in the mornings. The gym opens at 5:30am. My plan is to get there at least by 6. (Remember, it is only three min from my house so this is TOTALLY doable)

Tuesday night I found myself pre-setting the coffee pot, filling my water bottle, getting my workout clothes where I could find them in the dark....preparing.
I was so excited.

And I think Wes is excited for me too. Tuesday night I lost Wes downstairs for a REALLY long time. I actually thought he was out in the “man cave” (aka ‘the garage’) But he wasn’t. He had been down on the computer loading more music on the iPod for me. I can’t even tell you how much his support made me even more excited to go.

And sure enough, when my alarm went off Wed morning, I popped out of bed and was on the treadmill at the gym by 5:50.
And sure enough, Thursday morning I was on the elliptical by 5:45.
And sure enough, this morning I was in the pool swimming laps at 5:40.
I actually have been waking up before my alarm goes off.

I can’t begin to tell you how easy it is for me to make myself go to the gym.
I absolutely love it.
I already feel great. And I know it has only been three days, but I feel great.
I have more energy during the day. I feel stronger already. Mentally and physically and emotionally. I feel centered.

I remembered as I was on the treadmill the first day exactly why I loved it so much. It is my “me” time. I crank up the worship music and just find myself getting lost. It is a new margin in my life that I am hoping to create as a permanent one.

Now I know it is still ‘new’ as it has only been three days. And I am willing to offer myself grace in shooting to go at least 3-4 days a week. And, if I miss a morning workout, than I will go in the evening. There are a few classes on the weekends I want to try too. But it just feels right for me. I enjoy the options of doing different stuff every time I go.

My body hurts all over right now. And I love this feeling. My goal is to eventually lose weight and tone up. But right now, I am just aiming for feeling good and creating a steady routine.
I know this was a boring blog but I thought it was a good window into my world as it is the newest thing in my life at the moment.
Will do my best to keep you posted on my progress.